More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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