All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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