Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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