The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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