Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
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recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
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Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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