How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
