no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
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Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
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