I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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