I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
