Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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