me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
