Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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