He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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