yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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