She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My vagina just clenched in fear
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
