Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
