I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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