i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
