it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
