Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
