I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
