I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Boobs speak an international language.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
