You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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