i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
