dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
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She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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