Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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