Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
