How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize