Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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