I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
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Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
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I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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