grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
