are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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