do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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