He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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