Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Small penises have feelings too.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
