It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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