so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
