i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
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