She's JV to your varsity
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
