everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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