mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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