I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
