I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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