i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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