Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
