I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
