Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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