help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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