I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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