Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize