Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
