I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
