You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
