having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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