Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
