I'm sorry my penis didn't work
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
